Redemption: it’s a hard thing to get from others, and much easier to give to yourself.
Don’t worry about being perfect. You never will be, so perfection is just an unattainable distraction. Don’t aim for perfect, aim for better.
When from the corner of your eye you glimpse your own hypocrisy, don’t turn away. Grab it. Grab onto the hard problems, the problems where even thinking about it makes you wince in embarrassment or disgust. The ones that are like a big, muscular fish all covered in slime, wriggling and thrashing as it tries to get away from you.
You can’t be perfect, but if you push yourself to be better, you still get to think of yourself as a good person, and you get to forgive yourself when you go wrong.
Of course ‘better’ will always be a moving target. Redemption is not the kind of place you can travel to just once, and stay forever.
That’s why you wanted to be perfect, isn’t it? You wanted to try just once and succeed or fail, but either way be done with it. Instead you’re being asked to keep paddling forever, and you’re scared, because that sounds hard to you. Because you don’t know your own strength. You knew you had to be good, but you didn’t know you would have to be strong.
You want to know just how much strength will be required? As much as you have, no more and no less. That’s what ‘trying’ means.