Class trip


The image is a mash-up of several public domain images:
‘Flag of Britain’ by Anonymous
‘Baseball cap – front view’ by Moini
‘Vintage Camera’ by gnokii
‘Tour bus’ by PolyLingua
‘London Skyline 2.0’ by ryrych

Image description:

A cartoon: a sunny day with a tour bus and the skyline of London in the background. In the foreground: one big alien and six little aliens are looking out at the viewer. All the aliens are blobs with one big eye and the big alien has tentacles as well. The big alien has a camera, one of the little ones has a little UK flag, another wears a cap with a UK flag on. The following dialog is superimposed on top of the image:

– Making contact with alien beings is a very important skill. Remember, no talking to the humans mind-to-mind – it’s not part of their culture and it could frighten them. Do the vocalisations like we practised in class. Stay together! Remember we’ve got to be back on the bus by 6:15pm…

– Whoa! There’s one!

– Are you going to talk to it?

– Hi!

– *Giggle* Ha ha!

– Um… Hi, sir or madam! My name is Yaz-Krezh and…

– We’re supposed to talk to the face! *Giggle*

– Which part’s the face?

– It’s the bit near the top that isn’t covered by clothes.

– I can’t tell which bits are clothes!

– Can I tell them what dark matter REALLY is?

– No, Tza-Tha, you can’t. We have the Primitive Cultures Non-Interference Directive for a reason.

– Can I ask them what it’s like to have linear time?

– No.

– Why not?

– Honestly, Sza-Mnegzh, to a human that question wouldn’t make any sense at all.

– Why not?

– Because the human won’t be able to imagine what it’s like to have non-linear time.

– But I can explain it to them.

– No.

– But –

– No buts.

– Awwww!